im writing this with a heavy heart

i have already completed my final project everything is done and nothing can be changed.

i put in my best efforts i could find during the past few weeks of hectic schedule.

i tried my best to be a diligent student although there were times when i became a tad lazy and decided to lay in bed for a while because i always sleep ard 5am. or not at all.

this is very different from my diploma fyp. diploma fyp was a discouraged last min piece of work because of an ugly fucking bitch who should quit teaching for life because her ruptured face and useless mind kinda kills every potential.

but soon i found a second chance and i hope i made very good use of this second chance that i received.

altho i have to admit laziness did kick in time and time again during this ba course. but im glad that i have my love who waits for me almost every night without fail so that i wont feel so alone deep in the night while i battle with my work.

i have to admit i feel secured knowing that somebody is there even if i feel fucking shitty half way thru because the world just seemed so bleek. somebody i could reach out to frm just a simple phone call.

but now those days r all over. im regaining freedom like how a hatchling is growing wings.

i love the smell of serenity and fresh air. i cannot wait till this week is over and leave my mind alone from design.

loving design and doing design are two very different things.

i love the process but the production will cost u so much not only financially but also physically and mentally. for those who are thinking of taking up design on a general scale. think TWICE.

its nt as easy as it seems. its tougher then plain studying. because it doesnt require u memorise anyting or remember any formula yes but its a mind fucking process that can drown u till u die.

so all designers naturally have a stronger mind then anyone i believe. and now when i look at diploma work. i think its CRAP. i look back and i think my work is crap now. only then did i realise how much this has changed me and my perception of beauty.

to be a designer u have to be able to withstand sleepless nights of not only a day or two but sometimes a week. i sleep a total of 10hrs in a week mind u.

be prepared to age faster then your frens because of your stress level and amount of thinking u have to do.

but i think diploma days r pretty easy to get by for me. i always did work in a snap with the fastest way out and could score sometimes a pretty decent grade and sometimes just a pass. not very proud of it but because i realise that this ba has made me so much stronger both as a person and a designer.

tmr is my final presentation. my work is all set up now waiting to be assessed.

if any fucker were to steal my stash, you WILL burn in hell and die a terrible death like probably getting run over by a monster truck after falling to half ur death from a 40 storey building.

if u still dont die, i guess god has smth else more interesting for you lined up. probably bed ridden for the rest of your life.

yes, so if u steal my stuff. u know wat will happen to u!!!!!

haha

for now wish me all the best!!! and good luck to myself! i hope the lecturers will be in a gooooood mood tmr!

now the first thing i would wanna do after my assessments:

meet up with my love because i have so much to share with him and i hope i can spend as much time as i can with him before he goes to NS ): its starting to take effect on me now. shit. i dun wanna be alone. but its ok i will look forwrd to every sat then. be positive!!!

buy a mothers day present for my mom because she has been chauffering me ard with nt alot of complaints. lol

get a new tank for my tortoises coz they r growing too big and are escaping ALL THE TIME. just wait til happy getchu!!! see if u still wanna escape!!!

get a standing wheel for fishball and pretty, btw those r the names i gave the hammies. fishball is obviously the fat one. she is fat n lazy quite dirty too-.-

consider getting a rabbit twice and beg my mother about it HAHA

shower more love on happy for keeping me company every night too! he is still the master of the house!

keep myself lookin good coz im crap now.-.-

tongiht i shall prepare my thoughts for tmr

good night! time to choose my outfit






the day we went to check out the rabbits three weeks ago.