PMS MACHINE
yes i am one or issit because im just plain unhappy about things surrounding me?
i feel irritated frustrated fucked up and sometimes hurt for i don't know what,
i get so pissed i feel like crying and i yearned for someone there for me to hug.
but very often there isn't anyone,
i don't know why i feel that way sometimes.
my life shakes, like how a baseball is thrown through a window shattering the glass onto the floor into uncountable pieces.
maybe its just me, the all time pms machine according to my friends. as i look at the passing time and many strangers that walks pass me everyday on the streets on this pathetic dot on the map, i feel so minimal that even if i die, it wouldn't make a big difference to anyone.
i feel so sick, physically. ive been down with this stupid cold for days. i just cant recover fast ever since fell really ill last year. im so sick of my life, it doesnt have a purpose sometimes. i see the dead end only,i see the negative and darkness. i don't seem to see light or feel blessed anymore.
been talking to my dear son, whose jacket has been abused by me till today for keeping my peitite build warm everyday. thank you amos. i love u(: and a big thank you. u r just always there for me, see u this week to go shopping!
i haven been feeling well, for the past few days dearie and i haven been doing very well either.
i look out of the window sometimes and my mind wanders off, many questions were thrown at me i don't know from where though. i feel empty, emptiness seemingly eats me up half the time these days. unsure of the path i picked.
i know you've been trying your best to put up with me, so have i. im sorry. if this is what it takes, its tiring. ive just been in my most foul mood ever, i detest almost everything around me. i feel so sick and queasy and yet you stil threw those shit loads at me. thank you.
so much
a girl can be very understanding but not to some extent. im tired.
tts all for now.
i love long rides with you, breakfast and just plain having fun. i hate school poofs..*
