yes ive finally got the fucking time to sit in front of my lappy to put up an entry. a pretty decent one i'd gurantee. instead of sitting in front of my lappy tryin to finish up all my fucking school work which is taking up MOST, in fact more then three quarter of my time these days. i hardly even took naps only maybe ytd?usually i work til 430 am and then head to bed and sleep totally NOT peacefully wake up the next day go to school stone joke laugh around laugh at bushes and replays. HAHHA and yes i got one of the replays today -.- the spider fell into the damn bush because the rat pushed her. grr.
all rights. enough.
i have the urge to write agian. emotions are fluctuating inside me alot now..and so...yeah..
i remember how you used to complain how hard it was to decipher whatever i had to say through smses and my blog entries because i didn't like to use puncuation marks. i was pure lazy. but i learn and i have now. ive changed. i don't think you realised it nor cared. neither would you be reading this.but wells, maybe some day you might. who knows? im tired. leave me alone, stop haunting me.
today after school i had to go home grab some cash and go get my contact lenses done. it costs me 60bucx in total plus the saline and stuff after discount. so yes i feel the pinch. passed refat the shirts in the morning. thank god dearie accompanied me or else i have no idea how was i able to lug those 35shirts with me all the way from bmc to ps. seriously. haha thnks sweetie(:
n dearie was very sweet to offer his company to go have my lenses done and so i accepted his offer!and had dinner at chinatown too. of course spent some quality time together. its been some time since ive spent time with him. coz of school.really really suck. really, i mean SUCK.
right.
how i wish i could just create a stampede and kill all the work load i have now.
throw them all away, burn them with fire of anger, frustration and tears, free myself from this mess that i have now in life. entwine myself verdantly still to you. be in your strong and secured arms. believing little-ly in the ugliness the world has to drown me in. choosing to just induldge in those moments. have the same faith i used to have and live in assurance. i wish we could just live in the garden of eden. with no interference, you can fish every other day you like. i can just sit there and watch you with eyes only for you.
the innocence of natural beauty with no facades nor filth. the filth that drenched us all now even though we may never realise it ever, has it ever occur to you? is the purity still there?the purity and peace a dove used to symbolise to me. for it acted like a knife sharper then agony sliting my throat and veins, snapping them. allowing blood to spill and stain the sheets of love. thrusting messily into my heart disfunctioning my entire body and releasing my soul out to nowhere. drifitng to the middle of nowhere to the middle of my frustrated fears. sometimes i wish i could feed on morphins, for you to stop patronizing my space of pain. please stop it now. leave me alone pessimist.
is its existance still with me?
no.
it is no longer there. for a bullet did a hit one of the doves through the flock, and thats ME.
but i guess i manage to find someone to remove that bullet and stop me from bleeding.
loves.
i heart you (:vince pince wince !
...poofss..*
