A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.
One day, her 9-year-old son hides in the closet during one of her romps.
Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she hides the lover in the closet.
The little boy says, "It's dark in here."
The man whispers, "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."Man: "That's nice."Boy: "Want to buy it?"Man: "No, thanks."Boy: "My dad's outside.
"Man: "OK, how much?" Boy: "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover end up in the closet together.
Boy: "It's dark in here.
" Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: Remembering last time, asks, "How much?"Boy: "$750."Man: "Fine." A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your ball and glove.
Let's go outside and toss the baseball."The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says "$1,000." The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That's way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess." They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "It's dark in here."The priest says, "Don't start that shit again!"
HAHAHAHA
There once was a man whose given name was "Onestone", so named becausehe had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone to not tocall him Onestone!After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"
The word got around andnobody called him that any more.Then one day a young girl named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning,Onestone..."
He jumped up, grabbed her, and took her deep into the forestwhere he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her allthe next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. The word got aroundthat Onestone meant serious business.
Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years.
Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone..."
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her allday, all night, and all the next day, and through the next night...but, Yellow Bird wouldn't die!!!! What is the moral of this story???
You can't kill two birds with one stone!
OH MAN HAHAHAHA
One day, Saddam Hussein's heart stops and he dies. He immediately goes to Hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do with you," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.
I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."Saddam thought that sounded good and he agreed.
The devil opened the first room; in it was Ted Kennedy and a large pond of water. He kept diving into the water from a bridge and surfacing empty handed -- over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. No," Saddam said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room; in it was Charlie Manson with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Saddam.
The devil opened a third door. In it, Saddam saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Saddam looked at this in disbelief and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go."
HAHAHA OMG
tts all for today im lazy~~~~
it is true n always it would be. i wanna sing to u now
...poofss**
