[damn myself]
u defintely would after ur instructor make u feel so bad fer not focusing.wells..watever it is...at least im trying...today as usual lhoz..band again.then had sectional on ross roy.i wonder y he din ask the first[me n huey min] to go in to sectional wit him but instead asked fer sec n third.thought our part were the hardest...well that set me thinking.i dunno lahz....n bout wat he said bout in the sms im stil wondering if its true as wat seem to me is that that particular person is stil hanging in there n stil show interest?wells i dunno bout refat's perscpective...but i juz dun feel the same as he does until wat he told me today..altho it kinda adds on pressure fer me...its positive in a way or another..wells tts coz im lookin at it at another angle.i think if its given to other ppl...the person might juz give up?fer eg...i dun wanna say who..but seriously..i do not know y im putting up wit all these when i could've just washed my hands off evrythin.guess i juz coulnt bear to...??yeahhh wells...i am so unlyk wat i was b4..lyk puttin up wit all kinda insults another human is hurtling at me???HELL NEVER was i able to take that b4.but i guess i've learnt discipline n patience thru so many band practs wit refat.sometimes u juz get so afriad tt til tt particular bar..u know tt u r on the rite beat n wants to come in..u juz wun coz none of ur members came in n THEN get one hell of a shelling from ur instructor.nobody lyks tt ya?i dunno lahz...but yeahhhh altho sometimes u may feel lyk cryin..always tel urself..hang in there..juz a lil more to go.juz lyk the o lvls..the stress is the same...when u face the same kind of mathematics qn. which u hate to the core.fear grabs u inside out n have no confidence altho u r applying the correct method..n in the end u got it rite.....u do not know why?..coz u r actually focusing..but i guess wat refat said really hit me hard...as in it set me thinking n understand y he's been so worked up bout evrythin..n i admit..i did not give 100% attention aft a few rounds of playing thru as i get really tired.today my lips already red n sore...lyk painful...i juz cant pitch anymore..juz air air air comeing out...wells..watever it is..from now i'l give it my best at least..try...n also i jzu found out smth.AMOS COUNTING VERY ACCURATE!!so next time he must count we play better...if not sure kenah scolding..n refat...its not tt i think tt bf mroe impt lahz..zit wasnt him tt time..it was yee gin...wel i shall apologise then fer smsing n gettin distracted by it n do not give u the attention in which u wan...relaly sorry bout it n it wil never happen again i swear!as clarence would always b CONFISCATING MY CELL..yeah..so i assure u k...next time sure glue my eyes on u ar....count count count...ya..:P
yeap n so after band actually i din intend to borrow my instrument n file home to practice..but then arz tt clarence nag nag sae wan slap my face then i think again..better lahz..since amos also did...so went back to get hte instrument then went to eat at chinatown n then evryone came down to my house n we practice outside the function room facing the pool wit clarence sat in between me n amos teaching us...hhaha n he damn funny...yeah n while some stayed in the air conditioned room to do the snakes..so yeah..til now i stil remember wat clarence taught me!!!amos also lahz fer sure..haha eh got such a "CUTE" guy teaching lehz....hahaha im sure amos was bloody attracted to him n so evry single thing he teaches he remembers!!hahah yeah tmr i ahve the day all to myself so i guess i'l practice on my own...n bloody hell!!i try to play gentle already!!he stil sae i very rough n fierce...haiz dunno lahz...haha clarence is damn weird...he played my trumpet couldn't pitch.then he play the lower octave one.wah paing...lol lyk told him play the same way as playin the clarinet juz tt lipping diff n all...haha he dunno...only know how to use throat.ahahha cute arz...then he actually FORGOT TO ZIP!!!haha can ask riah...damn funny~LOL he actually turned red.Wahhahaha...ok *I'L B SO DEAD IF HE READS THIS.* :X
ok yeap..guess tts all tt happened today?yeap yeap..next week stil have got band..better also lahz..can pract then i wun feel so worried n scared..yeah so tts all i guess....
